couple

Some days, the blankness of my sheets of paper 

(their texture and sound as they slide across one another their sharpness 

and smoothnees under my fingertips) is so striking that I feel 

as if all I can do is

quake 

and 

quiv

er

shake

stut

t

t

ter

twitch

a pop

snaps the too-fine graphite tip against a

F

loor

how did that happen?

So much idle energy

So little to show for it

So much time

Spent shuddering

blurring my perimeter

evaporating 

like 

s
s
s
we
at

I feel it ebb and flow, rattling back and forth

constrained

trapped

desperate to escape in ways my body fails to correctly interpret

Somewhere there must be a solution

a transform to describe this seasick oscillation

a phase

an amplitude

a frequency

all in flux

desperate to match

desperate to couple to the wave of some activity, some task, some path, some 

place where it can be still in motion

some

home